I feel like I am only just starting to understand pleasure. I’ve spent most of my life focused on pain and seeking relief. I don’t think pleasure is the opposite of pain, I think they are inextricably connected. The opposite of pain is numbness, a dulling of sensation rather than an alternate feeling.
My adventures in pain relief and my ever-turbulent relationship with my body have led me to start thinking differently and appreciating pleasure in a different way.
I didn’t think I would ever write about anything of a sexual nature on this blog, in a book maybe, where there are words enough for context. However, this post isn’t really about sex (sorry!) it is about an incredible book by an amazing woman. A book that has changed the way I think about orgasm, which has already had a huge impact on me and my pursuit of pleasure, and I think Betsy’s story is one we all need to hear. Add it to your Christmas list – I’m considering sending a copy to every woman I know!
Autobiography of an Orgasm made my mind open and my eyes widen. There is so much mystery around the female body, even after years of pelvic pain I think I am pretty clued up on my basic gynaecology, but turns out I still have a lot to learn. It turned me on, but it isn’t a purely titillating read, it is sexy and spiritual, and also healing.
Betsy’s first book is a memoir – and one that will resonate with women everywhere. You don’t need to have experimented with jade eggs or be interested in trying OM (orgasmic meditation) to relate to this book (but it is fascinating to hear about these things!). You will feel a connection through the experiences that have touched so many of us – abuse, abortion, affairs, to name a few – that have consciously or unconsciously stopped us treating ourselves physically and emotionally with the love and pleasure we deserve, well it turns out our orgasms can heal all that. That is good news – I really couldn’t have hoped for a better cure.
And we need to be talking about this without shame or deflective humour (I’m obviously guilty of using both, but I am British and still learning!). I’m looking forward to reading more on the subject and hearing the stories of other women in her follow up book Autobiographies of Our Orgasms: Volume 1.
What I really loved is that Betsy articulates something I have been thinking about (without realising it) for years – that orgasms are not just the climax, that the first touch can be orgasmic and that it is a feeling we can carry with us outside of the bedroom, in our every day lives.
I don’t want to say too much and spoil the book for you – I just want you to know that you should definitely read it!