I love crushing on someone. People are so intriguing and inspiring that I always have at least one crush on the go, sometimes real life, sometimes online, occasionally celebrities and most often, fictional! I love the adventure of either getting to know someone new or wildly speculating about them. Some of my crushes are people I’d actually like to get to know and have some kind of relationship with, but most of them, I just want to daydream about at a safe distance.
Having a crush on someone should be enjoyable. However sometimes, a crush gets out of control, stops being fun and makes you act crazy. Whether it is unrequited, unrealistic, unhealthy or inappropriate, sometimes you just need to get that person out of your head.
If, like me, you feel everything intensely and have a wild imagination, you might need a reality check and some creative relief! Here are some of my favourite methods of getting over a crush and moving forward with my one true beloved… myself!
Write them a letter
If you are tempted to unleash your crazy onto your crush, even though your rational mind knows it would be oh… such a bad idea, then turn to the art of letter writing to get it out of your system and articulate all those feelings. Do not send it! Burn the letter and let it all go. If you aren’t the writing kind, say it out loud, but in a private safe space and then open a window to let some new fresh air in!
Write really bad love poetry or songs about them (and I mean really really bad!)
Ok, the first two are writing based, but I am a writer! Drain your heart of unresolved feelings of teen love type angst down your arm and out of your pen, pour it all out onto paper, get as melodramatic and as cliched as you can. Ideally you want to be able to read it back and laugh at yourself. Keep it to yourself, don’t share it. If you think you’ve accidentally created something good (which often happens when you’re not trying!), then go with it and move onto the next point…
Make them your muse and create something good
If you are not yet at the stage when you can laugh at yourself (never underestimate the power and poignancy of pain induced by a crush), then maybe make them your muse. Beware producing work where the subject is obvious, unless you are ready to deal with that gracefully or you are Taylor Swift. I personally prefer to use my muses as prompts and often create work based on a number of them to protect both the innocent and the less-innocent!
Dance it off
Dance is my solution to EVERYTHING! Dance like a crazy creature to happy music in your bedroom, go out with your friends and your cheesiest disco moves, do an interpretative dance to work through those feelings, shake it off, get gig-going and throw yourself into a mosh pit or wiggle seductively in front of the mirror to remind yourself how damn sexy you are.
Give yourself a therapeutic forfeit for any bad habits
If you have developed any bad habits, like say, checking their social media accounts twenty times a day, then stop it! If you slip, then have a forfeit you need to do every time to move you forward in a more positive way. It should be something you might enjoy and that will help you reset. I choose exercise (dancing or walking) as moving helps change up my energy and thought processes.
Create some calligraphic word art to inspire or encourage you
Grab some paper and pens, work on your calligraphy or bubble writing or put your typography and graphic design skills to work. Find yourself a quote that will make you feel strong, capable and pretty damn amazing, that will remind you of your priorities, and how you want to feel. I use lines from books, song lyrics, desired adjectives and random notes. Display it somewhere you’ll see it every day.
Romance yourself with a mixtape or creative date.
Instead of spending your time being unhappy, anxious, obsessive, or whatever kind of nastiness you’ve accidentally manifested, dedicate your energy to romancing yourself. Whether you take yourself out on a creative date to recharge and get inspired or make yourself a mixtape or playlist of songs you love. Treat yourself.
Draw a picture of yourself feeling happy after getting over your crush
This is about visualising your future self and all the extra fun you could have if you stopped infatuating! You can keep it focused on your goals or your feelings, it can be realistic or whimsical. You’ll soon start to see what gap you are trying to fill with your crush.
Make a vision board of your great life
Similar to above, but for those of us that can’t draw for toffee! Start a collage or a Pinterest board of how you want life to look and feel. Be ambitious, daydreamy and aspire to greatness!
Get creative with other people
Invest in other people, put the same effort into your friendships as you do your crushes. Connect with your friends, make new ones, meet up interesting people, go to creative classes, events, talks or workshops. There is a big wide world outside your head (and your heart).